We’ve all grown up with a definition of “success.” Often we’ve been told to chase it. Strive for it. Double-down and go after it! We’ve also been told what types of achievements and material objects indicate a truly “successful” life. And, if we’re not living and owning these things then we clearly need to up our game.
Funny thing is, I think you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who agrees that love and joy are KEY ingredients. I know. I know. This is definitely not what we grew up with and can seem too far-fetched and tinged with rainbow, rose-colored glasses thinking.
Now, before you click away because it seems too unrealistic, I invite you to follow a different storyline with me.
Are you in? I thought so.
We all know people who are poor. We also know people who are rich. And we know people right down the middle. Ironically, the amount of money in their bank account rarely overlaps nor is it an accurate indicator of their true wealth.
In fact, what we have seen over and over again is that most of us (myself included) were taught backwards. Work hard, sacrifice, put your nose to the grindstone and then someday, if the stars align just right, you might be happy.
I don’t know about you, but that is incredibly disheartening. Personally, I’d love an updated version that is higher vibrational and brings a smile to my face. Perhaps, just perhaps this is possible.
The most heart-felt and inspiring definition I’ve read or heard about is from Dr. Deepak Chopra.
“Success, according to nature, is your expansion of happiness.”
Wow. Deepak certainly challenges us to rethink success. For those of us who grew up heavily influenced by Western civilization’s work ethic and values based on acquiring outward accolades and recognition this can definitely seem out of reach.
Most of us were taught from a very young age to compete, study, work harder, sacrifice, put in tons of hours, work multiple jobs, chase the golden carrot. I don’t know about you but I have tried this and found it to be unsustainable as well as unhealthy. At some point we either crash voluntarily or our body does it for us.
You may be wondering if there is a way out, a way off the gerbil wheel? The answer is a resounding Yes!
I like to use the following analogy that most of us can relate to. Think about your body’s inner resources and energy like an ATM machine.
Let’s say we start out with $100 in our account when we wake up in the morning. As we go about the day we encounter other people either face-to-face or via some form of electronic communication.
We also have our own thoughts running circles in our mind that keep up an inner dialogue demanding to be heard.
We might give out a lot of energy or “currency” from our account if we come across someone else’s perceived crisis and decide to go along for the ride.
We could have low energy thoughts of our own that become more negative as the day goes on. This can manifest as thinking we have to fix someone else’s problem or we obsess over how we can “fix” our own issues.
This is our choice. And it’s a big one that is not to be taken lightly.
If we decide to follow the perceived drama (our own or someone else’s) then that means a certain amount of money has been withdrawn from our inner ATM machine.
We might be able to find opportunities later in the day to replenish the funds. Maybe. Maybe not.
A typical day for most people has them completely wiped out of all their ATM allotment by lunch time. So, they are literally on fumes the rest of the day. Exhausted. Irritable. Short-tempered. Wiped out. Sound familiar?
This can go on for quite some time. The problem is that eventually you wake up with only $70 or maybe $50 maximum. Energetically, you are already down. Not even starting a new day fully funded. So you could feasibly be out of money by 9 or 10 a.m.
If this habit continues unchecked that’s when our system will demand to be heard. A health crisis, financial crisis, spiritual crisis, marital crisis or emotional/psychological crisis will literally bring us to our knees.
At this point is when most people begin to look at the patterns of their lives more closely.
If they are honest with themselves they could feel the tremors coming long before the crash happened. But, they were hoping that it would just go away on its own. Or miraculously be fixed without any changes to their current lifestyle choices.
Let’s think about Deepak’s definition again as it plays an important role in bringing balance to this out-of-balance scenario.
What if success really is about our expansion of happiness?
How would this impact your life? I don’t know about you, but it would completely rewire my day-to-day living.
Imagine waking up every morning thinking - Wow! I have 24 brand new hours. How am I going to use them?
Do I want to get caught up in the web of someone else’s issues or am I willing to allow them to figure out a solution on their own?
How does this feel in my body?
Do I feel excited and delighted to help them?
Or, do I feel a clenching in my gut or a tightening in my jaw or neck?
Am I even breathing as I think about this scenario?
What if…I stopped for a moment and put my hands over my heart, closed my eyes and checked in with myself?
What is my heart-center telling me to do?
By listening closely to our body’s wisdom we would begin to live the happiness destination front to back - instead of the reverse. Be happy now. Follow joy today. Not some other day I’m hoping is speedily racing to me. Right now. In this moment.
We could start to embrace the nourishing acts we normally take for granted. We would begin to cultivate a deeper, more loving relationship with ourselves. Eating, bathing, sleeping, working, friendships, alone time would all be done through the lens of compassion.
Imagine… living with the utmost respect for yourself.
From this perspective we see that happiness really is an inside job. It is not anyone else’s job to make us happy. That simply is not possible. However, it is our birthright to love ourselves for who we are right now. Perfectly imperfect. Beautifully human.
When we toss shame based feelings out the window our whole life shifts. We no longer say things like - I’ll love myself when x happens, or when I lose x amount of pounds, move out, leave this job, leave my spouse, get a raise, pay off my debt, etc…
The truth is you are a gorgeous, amazing being who has much to offer. When you see yourself as worthy of your own love. Worthy of your own time. Worthy of your own attention - everything shifts. The expansion of happiness continues to grow exponentially.
Your days are full of deposits instead of withdrawals. Not only would you start out with $100 in your internal ATM - you would have a surplus, an overflow of abundance. You’d be wired to lovingly accept deposits. Deposits of time, energy, money, inner resources and happiness.
For just one day are you willing to practice the invitation to expand your happiness?
Close your eyes, place your hands over your heart - now ask yourself: How much happiness can I handle in my life? Am I willing to allow even more into my heart? Just for today, am I willing to love myself 1% more?
My bet is you can handle it better than you realize, sweetheart.
With Love and Light,
💛
Joanna
”a trusted voice to your angels and guides”
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