Healing

From Darkness to Light: my brush with grace

In an act of full disclosure I will share with you that the years 2013 - 2015 were incredibly challenging for me. I was tested in ways I had never before been tested. I was pushed and forced to do what I did not think I was capable of doing.

At one point I remember feeling intensely sad and at an absolute loss. For all of my life up until this time I'd had the gift of resiliency. I'd get knocked down. Then, I would shake it off. Recalibrate. Re-center. I would gather myself up and keep moving.

Not this time. I distinctly recall mourning my former self. I was sad. Angry. Depressed. Regretful. Ruthless with myself and internally towards those I perceived had knowingly cut me to the bone. I felt like my soul had literally been sucked out of my body for good. What did I have to live for? The person I used to be vanished. Escaped.

I can't point to any one specific day that eventually led to my turn-around. Although, there were several events woven together that became my life line.

What are your imaginary dragons?

Once upon a time, there lived a man who looked up in the sky and saw ferocious, scary dragons everywhere.  Because he was so frightened of them he built a castle and fortress to protect himself.  He also hired knights at the ready in the event of a full on attack. His days and nights were spent constantly worrying about these dragons. The more he thought about them the more he believed in the inevitible destruction of their fire-breathing ways. Every day was driven by the desire to escape their wrath. It completely consumed his every thought.

Healing is an Inside Job...

How often do we think about something and decide to do it out of obligation? Obligation is a pretty heavy word and comes loaded with all sorts of negative connotations. Why is saying No and meaning it so hard?  Why do we say yes when we really mean no? What is it that keeps us stuck in this loop? For many of us it comes down to feeling guilty about having our own needs met.  And by this I mean taking care of ourselves first and foremost.  Like the old saying about flying.  In case of emergency put the mask on yourself before your children.

The Simplest Acts of Kindness...

Mahatma Gandhi is quoted as saying, "the simplest acts of kindness are by far more powerful than a thousand heads bowing in prayer."  I don't know about you, but this made me pause and read it a second time.  We all know people who profess to be lovers of faith and devoted followers of a religion or philosophy they most resonate with. Some of these devotees are true models of compassion, kindness and love.  However, there are others whose actions are out of alignment with what they say.  All too excited to let us know scripture.  Yet... there is a cavalier judgement and critcism to their thinking that just doesn't feel right to us.  

Becoming the change we wish to see...(what does this really mean?)

If you are like me you've heard or seen this famous axiom of Mahatma Gandhi's.  "Become the change you most wish to see in the world."  I have seen this painted on one of the wall's at Capital High School. I've seen it taped to the back of a bathroom stall.  I've even seen it painted in huge, beautiful letters at the Mumbai airport.  Clearly this message resonates on such a deep, cellular level that it seamlessly crosses cultures, ages and geographic boundaries.  It harkens back to reading about the impact the Silk Road's travelers and early entrepreneurs had on each other.  From the villages and capitals of Europe came tradesmen and explorers.  Persia and the Far East had their own merchants and adventurers as well.  

 

reteaching a thing its loveliness

Does this line intrigue you?  Pull you in for more?  The extended line that stopped me in my tracks reads, "though sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness..." This passage comes from the stunningly beautiful poem "Saint Francis and the Sow" by Galway Kinnell.  Kinnell uses the metaphor of a bud's flowering to our inner journey of healing.  Poets have always mesmerized me. They seamlessly dwell in the sacredness of life itself.  They are true wordsmiths. Crafting and weaving words together in such a way that stirs our very souls.