Are you frustrated by feeling other people are overly reliant on you? Are you secretly exhausted and tired of the job? You may even dream about taking a break from all the drama, excuses and complaining.
Yet… you were raised, praised and conditioned to be a people pleaser. You know the old mantra, it’s better to give than to receive.
Truth be told, you don’t mind some of the time. Just not all of the time. Why? Because it’s emotionally exhausting. Unsustainable.
Is there a solution to your problem? The short answer is Yes.
I’ll use the wise counsel of the Seven of Fire from Angel Tarot to illustrate a loving, supportive and practical message.
The Seven of Fire’s meaning is the need to be more assertive and make a stand for what you really believe in.
Undoubtedly, this can be a hard message to hear for someone who has prided themselves on conflict avoidance and not wanting to "rock the boat."
However, what often times happens is that by continually agreeing to other people's requests and being afraid to say no, it is at a very heavy cost to your inner self.
Too high of a cost ultimately. Because you are wiped out. Low energy with a slowly diminishing life force.
Is there hope? Yes.
Ironically, when I talk with a client who has this card come up in a reading they agree wholeheartedly this is definitely the case. It's a huge relief to finally get confirmation and validation.
Many of us are raised to be people pleaser’s. Our whole existence is gauged on whether we can swoop in and save the day.
Said another way: Our value as a human being is enmeshed in being “invaluable” to others. Talk about a slippery slope!
Many clients also share being raised with the mantra it’s better to give and serve than to receive. To that I gently remind them that in a balanced, high functioning Universe there’s a respectful energy in nature of giving and receiving.
Neither is any more weighted than the other, it's simply our beliefs around this process that form the labels of good or bad.
The Seven of Fire is a message from the Divine realm saying it's high time you stand up for yourself. Hang up the super-woman or super-man cape! You have permission to defend your position and speak up for your wants, needs and desires.
In some cases this card can indicate a need to start taking self-protection or assertiveness classes. Learning from others who have developed the skill to strengthen their physical and metaphorical muscles is very powerful.
The Seven of Fire is truly about understanding self-care at the most basic level.
We learn to build our own foundation of what we will and will not tolerate from others. And ultimately be able to maintain that boundary.
These things definitely take time. That’s why it's so important to see this card as a reminder that you are worth it. Nothing is more important than taking care of your mental, physical, spiritual and emotional house.
Part of the practice of inner and outer strength is to mean what you say.
Just so you understand, think of it this way.
Let your yes mean yes.
Let your no mean no.
Let your maybe mean maybe.
Another great practice is allowing yourself space before answering a request of your energy, time or money.
Give yourself 24 hours to return with your answer. Allow yourself the grace to answer with complete authenticity and integrity.
Another important message to contemplate with the Seven of Fire continues along the vein of introspection.
Ask yourself:
Is this really a problem with another person or persons?
Is it possible that I’m experiencing a reflection of my own inner struggles?
Does it seem like everyone is asking too much or only one person?
(Hint: If it seems like everyone, then it's time to look at your inner people pleaser. The one that probably needs to be fired. Right away.)
If it's only one person then it's probably a good time to set a stronger boundary. You may need to take a break from this person. Or, perhaps you can allow yourself to step back and release the need to want to solve all their problems.
The truth is that if they are having a lot of issues or struggles, they would be wise to seek out professional counsel. Friends and family members are not therapists.
A powerful antidote of habitual self-sabotage is to recognize when we, or someone we love, needs to make the loving choice to work with a professional.
Lastly, the Seven of Fire recognizes the inner desire to align with impeccable character. When you are proud of who you are and know who you are, no one can intimidate you.
You are completely congruent with the words and actions of your life. Now, that is definitely something well worth striving for!
With love and light,
💛
Joanna
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