Do you find yourself rushing around, busier than ever and wishing you could take some much needed downtime to rest?
If you answered yes you are in good company, my friend. Today stress, fatigue and overwhelm are at an all time high with more and more people going into the doctor’s office to discover a way to alleviate the feeling of constant pressure and tension.
It is ironic, isn’t it? Our society has so many “time-saving” devices, yet we feel behind. Have you found yourself wondering, What’s really going on? Is there a way out?
The truth is, most people today are struggling. Demands on time, energy, money and emotional support are at an all-time high. Many days go by are that a complete blur. Weeks feel like a few days and months are gone in a blink of an eye. That’s why it’s so common to hear people say they can’t believe they are another older already. Or, what happened to winter or what happened to spring?
Does this sound like your story?
You may have heard of the expression Do less accomplish more. If this seems like trite words or wishful thinking I encourage you to explore this simple yet profound saying with me. It really is quite fascinating and life changing if taken to heart.
Like many of you, I was familiar with this saying for many, many years. Do less accomplish more. I thought I got it. I mean, I really thought I had it down. But, did I really? To be honest, I liked the sounds of it and I loved the idea around it. However, I wasn’t able to apply it fully to my own life.
Partly because deep down I wasn’t really convinced that it worked.
My Puritanical, Mayflower-esque ancestry that highlights the qualities of working hard, blood, sweat, tears, sacrifice, no pain-no gain, etc…was clearly at odds with this beautiful and exquisite Eastern philosophical saying.
Do less accomplish more? What does this even mean? And, who lives like that?
To me it always seemed to be something relegated to the upper-class, trust-funders or elite thinkers who didn’t have to worry about bills to pay. I mean, let’s be honest - how many people do you really know that can truly bask in the essence of less?
And, to be clear I’m not talking about making a few donation runs. I’m talking about less across the board - including drama, gossip, time management, work habits, internet time, excuses and perceived obligatory social engagements.
With all this in mind, I had an epiphany recently. It’s as if I heard the words for the first time. I mean really, truly heard them. I felt it in my body. They landed in me.
I realized that I was relegating the saying to money and time. That’s it. Nothing else. I had put it in a box, tied the bow on top and called it good.
This time though, I looked at it in it’s entirety. Holistically, if you will. Energy and inner resources now became major players.
Let me explain:
Most of us have been brought up on the steady diet that to be of value in society you must do more, achieve more, be more, push yourself, push others, go for broke, burn the candle at both ends, climb the ladder of success, etc…etc...
If you want something bad enough you better double down and put your life into overdrive. Nothing less will do.
The problem is that this is not sustainable, nor is it healthy. At all. Our ancestors who brought these messages with them lived in different times under more challenging conditions physically.
This “working the grind” mindset was very much a reality for them and offered a way out or up, however you want to look at it. The important piece to remember is we live in very different times and have opportunities available that never existed for them.
Because of our ancestors upbringing, the messages and lifestyle they were accustomed to got passed down to the next generation. As a result we ate it up. Never questioned it. Drank the Kool-aid.
What has resulted is we tend to work more hours than we need to in search of a way to measure our worth. Or we stay in unsatisfying jobs or toxic relationships, telling ourselves that someday we will get a break from all this pressure.
Someday I can leave. Someday I can make more money. Someday I’ll get a raise. Someday I’ll do what I really want. Someday he/she will change.
To put it in plain English, many of us are operating on an out-dated operating system that has not been upgraded to fit our current times.
The shadow side of this older belief system is shame and guilt. These energies work together and often times hook us strongly to the past. A past that may or may not have even been our own creation.
Shame and guilt like to lurk in the corners of our minds. If we want a much needed break, want to leave a toxic situation or to carve out more time for ourselves in the day, these shadow energies will tell us we haven’t done enough yet to deserve it. Constant reminders that suffering equals worth.
As a result, many of us were told it’s selfish to do nice things for ourselves. It’s selfish to put ourselves first. It’s always better to give than receive.
The flaw in this thinking is that it’s short-sighted. The truth is it’s absolutely essential for our own health and balance to be an incredibly gracious receiver and a heartfelt giver. Neither is more weighted than the other. They are both key ingredients.
Overworking, over-extending and over giving manifest themselves profoundly in work and family situations.
Overworking, seeking value from others by seeming to be indispensable, comes out through taking on more work than we can realistically handle.
Over giving with family manifests in a myriad of ways. It can show up in the form of continuing to finance an adult who is perfectly capable of caring for themselves. Or, it can be to constantly fuss and worry about family members - the tendency to want to micro-manage their lives - when it’s best to back off and let them sort things out. Even if you don’t approve of how they are doing it.
The truth is if we insist on pushing. If we insist on inserting ourselves into other lives. If we insist on over doing, then we’ll feel the pressure build and build until we literally can’t take anymore.
This need for release usually shows up as a health crisis, a relationship crisis, a financial crisis, a spiritual crisis, a psychic crisis, an emotional crisis or perhaps all of them combined.
Coming back to the beginning.
What does all this backstory have to do with doing less and accomplishing more?
Let’s look a bit deeper, shall we? We all have things that make up our day. Work, family, friends, errands, sleep, personal reflection time, meetings, get togethers, etc….
What I’ve found, through my own experience and working with clients, is that we tend to feel like we need to do more than we actually do. Give more than we need to.
It’s the inner draw for outer recognition that’s driving the bus. Not wanting to miss out. Essentially, we are putting our worthiness in the hands of others. And that is always going to be a slippery slope.
The truth is you’ve always been worthy and you’ve always been enough. Now what? Because you don’t need to over-work, over-give and over-extend to achieve these qualities. They are your inherent birthright and no one can take them away.
In reality no one is really putting the pressure on you to do more. You may think someone else is, but the truth is it’s how we perceive the request that matters. Just because they are asking you to do something doesn’t mean you are obligated to say yes.
When we cross our own boundary and say yes to a request that will inevitably take valuable energy from our time and inner resources we are essentially draining our own battery. We always have the choice to say No. No is a very, very powerful word that has the potential to give you your life back.
The Game Changer Question
What would your life look like if you were to do 75% of what you know you are capable of doing in a day? I’ll give you a hint: this is most likely a behavior or a work ethic style that up until now has seemed unacceptable to you.
To be clear, I’m not saying to do nothing or give nothing. Just a little bit less than normal. Are you willing to look at each day that comes up and if it feels too full, can you drop something? Can you reschedule something?
Soft is the new strong here. Think about the power that comes from gentling your life. By doing less of what you think you have to do, imagine what opens up for you energetically and creatively?
Imagine all the amazing experiences that are now possible by freeing up your time - just a bit.
When you don’t feel so boxed in you can actually learn to enjoy the life you have now. Not later. Now.
It’s time to upgrade your software to the high-voltage, super sensitive operating system that is aligned with the Real you.
Are you ready? I think you were born ready.
With love and light,
Joanna
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