Ahhhh... destinations! So enticing. So addicting. The more exotic the better, too. What could be more thrilling than an exciting getaway for a couple of weeks? New locale. New foods. New sights. New sounds. Excursion possibilities galore. Not having to worry about who is fixing meals--it's already prepared for you! The mental check-list starts tick, tick, ticking away. Camera. Phone. Charger. Clothes. Accessories. Money. Passport. Airline Tickets. Car rental or maintenance on current vehicle if it's a driving journey. Hats. Toiletries. Backpack. Reading material. Several styles of shoes (because you never know.) Swimsuit. Jacket. Gloves. Scarf... Depending on the destination our minds are feverishly imagining ourselves already there and going about our day.
Perhaps we are cruising? Maybe it's a scenic by-ways driving trip? It could be we are flying in somewhere and renting a car. Or, better yet, we have a driver waiting to pick us up and navigate the streets and avenues to finally drop us off at the hotel, villa, or inn. Who cares, we think, as long as I can get away from here and be on vacation! No responsibilities. No more feeling pulled to answer emails, texts, instant messaging. Driving around doing errands. Going to meetings, work, activities. Uggghhh!
Ohhh... the places you will go! Where to next?
Now, don't get me wrong I love a wonderful vacation or holiday as much as the next person. What has changed for me is the reason to go on the vacation. I used to feel that I needed to get away from everything. Recharge my batteries. Be out of cell service. Be away from my day-to-day. It was an escape from my reality that I was craving more than the actual destination. Because I either felt empty or overwhelmed or both, I dreamed of a way to distance myself. In the hope that by getting away I would gain the much needed perspective to shift my life and feel the deeper meaning I craved.
Sometimes it did work. For awhile. It didn't last, though. The first few weeks after returning I would feel awesome. My recent memories were chalk full of rich experiences that had me laughing more, relaxing more, letting things slide off my back more and generally feeling way better about life. However, after the few weeks were up than I'd be right back to the ol' grindstone and day-to-day flow of my life. Almost always I would feel a let down. So, like any adventure seeking American I would start dreaming about my next destination. My thought was that it would keep me good and distracted and help get me through until my next sojourn. Better start looking into overtime or a side job to make some extra money, right?
In the past year or so my perspective has completely shifted. After several amazing vacations that will be etched in my mind forever, I realized that I wanted that feeling to last. Not just a few weeks. I wanted it for months and months. Years would be even better. As I began looking more closely at my life I realized I was putting incredibly high expectations on these destinations. I was expecting them to be a "quick fix" for my problems.
"Life isn't just about getting there, it is also about being here
and enjoying your journey." -- Dr. Robert Holden
As many of us know, it doesn't work that way. Because as the old saying goes-- wherever you go, there you are. The common denominator in my life is me. No matter where I go, there I am. What was missing was my perspective. My connection to myself. Meaning: Why wasn't I able to see the beauty in the day-to-day? Why couldn't I find reasons to enjoy my life right here? Right now? What is it I am hoping to run off to? What am I hoping to find that will fix me?
As I have been cultivating the art of self -care I have looked more closely at what I can do to create the feeling of ease and comfort that I find so easily on vacation. I now have more "stay-cations" where I carve out much needed time for myself. I can turn my phone off or to vibrate. There is always the wonderfully fabulous airplane mode as well. I am much more particular with my time and my barometer of overwhelm. My sensitivity to my needs is more in alignment with what I want instead of what others want from me. Or, the flip side of the coin--what I think others want from me.
Often times it's our perception of what we think others want from us that can trip us up. We think others can't do without us. Need us to save the day. Rescue them. Make quick and sane decisions for them. Etc.. etc... But, what's really going on is that we need to hang up our cape. People typically do a pretty good job of taking care of themselves. Maybe it's not how we would do it, but who cares? Keeping our nose in our own business is an art in and of itself. And the truth is this--The only one we truly need to save or rescue is ourselves.
The Awakening, from Doreen Virtue's Fairy Tarot deck, reminds us to shift our perspective to view life from a completely different angle.
When I shifted my lens from looking outside of myself for the replenishing energy I craved to looking inside my whole world view changed. My talented and introspective Life Coach asked me last fall a very important question. She challenged me to think about what my life would look like if I gave as much energy to myself as I so readily did to others? This blew me away. I honestly didn't know. I had absolutely no idea. I remember telling her, I don't know.
She said, good. This is where you start. The unknown is full of amazing possibilities we could never even think of and often times they are so much better than we can imagine. The important reminder is to not worry about how to do it. The how gets in the way. The richness is in the asking. Just put it out there.
What would my life look like if I kept my energy source powering up me, instead of giving it away to others? The old paradigm is searching outside, giving, rescuing, and addiction to busyness. The new paradigm asks us to take time to create, explore, and add juiciness to our own life. Then, step back and watch with wonder.
So... are you up for the challenge? What would your life look like if you put your energy into yourself and your creative endeavors instead of giving it away to others?
I think you were born ready! Go for it!
Joanna
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