Why Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Mahatma Gandhi is quoted as saying, "the simplest acts of kindness are by far more powerful than a thousand heads bowing in prayer."  I don't know about you, but this made me pause and read it a second time.  We all know people who profess to be lovers of faith and devoted followers of a religion or philosophy they most resonate with. Some of these devotees are true models of compassion, kindness and love.  

However, there are others whose actions are out of alignment with what they say.  All too excited to let us know scripture.  Yet... there is a cavalier judgement and critcism to their thinking that just doesn't feel right to us.  

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I don't know about you, but I like to keep things simple.  Like the motto of the Golden Rule states,  "Do unto others as you'd have done unto you."  I may not be a biblical scholar or all knowing in the teachings of The Bhagavad Gita, Book of Buddha, the Koran or the Torah.  I do, however, understand that being kind is a core, universal teaching.  

I have always loved the straight-forward simplicity of the Golden Rule.  Be nice.  If you don't have anything nice to say, you're not thinking hard enough. Period.

Gandhi clearly saw a similar dilemma in his time that we see today.  I believe this has gone on for centuries and certainly is not just a modern issue.  When someone is kind and helpful we are so touched by their sincerity that it stays with us.  

Scientists have a name for the hormone that is released by kindness- it's called serotonin.  I've heard it referred to as the "happiness" hormone.  Just observing a simple, random act of kindness effects not only the giver and the receiver.  No.  It also effects those that observed it.  

Think about being in line at the grocery store and it's really busy.  Most people have the tired, cranky look and clearly just want to get this experience over with so they can get home. You are behind someone that only has a few items.  They happen to be behind the person with a whole cart full of grocery's.  The full cart person is next up.  

Suddenly, they turn to the person with a few items.  They say, "Why don't you go in front of me? You only have a few items.  That way you can get through quicker."  The other person says, "Oh. Okay. That is so nice of you.  Thank you." 

"Kindness is my religion."  -- H.H. the Dalai Lama

You are still just an observer, but your system has been elevated by watching an action in kindness.  It didn't have to happen.  Yet, it did.  It didn't even happen to you directly. Maybe you were one of the cranky, tired people in line.  Now, you feel better and are happy to have witnessed this small act of kindness.  

The checker is also more light-hearted. Everyone in your line has had a shift.  No one proselytized. No one gave a big sermon. No one said "look how great I am."  Yet, everyone in that line felt a shift in their day.  Pretty cool, right?

Some of you know that I work with a lot of teenagers.  Teens are still very sensitive despite their self-imposed armor.  They have become a great practice for me to work on my kindness muscle. I remember when I was a teen how much I lit up when a teacher or adult would take the time to say hello.  Or, ask me how I was doing.  

There can be a fair amount of confusion as a teenager.  At times overwhelming. Stressful. Most adults are telling them what to do or how to do things differently.  Not a lot of support for who they are in that moment.  By me saying, "hello, it's great to see you" and meaning it can bring a smile to a face that just a moment before was distant. Distracted.

"When you don't have a temple in your heart, how can you find your heart in a temple?"  -- Zen proverb

I don't limit this just to teenagers.  I make conscious efforts to practice kindness as much as possible.  Everywhere I go. By smiling with my whole face.  Waving at someone across a room and mouthing "hi." Saying thank you or thank you for thinking about me.

By telling someone I was thinking about them when I really was thinking of them. By telling people it's good to see them. By reminding myself to be the best part of myself.

It's not about where we go to church or don't go to church. If we worship a certain way or don't worship a certain way.  It's who we are on the inside that shines its beauty outside.

When we commit to practicing simple acts of kindness we have absolutely no idea how far reaching the impact will be. What I do know is this... When more of us make a commitment to be kinder. To be more compassionate. To be more loving. We all benefit.  It becomes the beautiful world we long for. 

Here's to carrying the torch of kindness,  

Joanna